The Commonwealth Online games: An AZ of all items Glasgow

C is for Chewing the Body fat

…or “chatting up a storm”, as you may say down South. No one talks as considerably – or as quickly – as Glaswegians. Take a trip on the Clockwork Orange, arguably the friendliest underground technique in the planet, and hark at the strange phenomenon that is conversing with thy neighbour.

D is for Drookit

Or “soaked to the skin”, which is what you may be if you fail to remember to pack a brolly. The city averages 3in of rainfall in July, and is so popular for its inclement weather that regional band Deacon Blue known as their first album Raintown in homage.

E is for Edinburgh

The real funds of Scotland. It is only a fifty-minute hop by train – just do not inform the locals you’ve been. The rivalry in between the two cities is intense.

F is for Fitba

Or soccer, as it is far more frequently recognized. Glasgow/Edinburgh rivalry is surpassed only by the Aged Agency, the sectarian derby of Celtic and Rangers, the city’s leading football teams (with apologies to Partick Thistle). Relations are especially strained at existing as Celtic are Scottish Leading League Champions and Rangers have been banished to League 1.

G is for Inexperienced

Glasgow is Gaelic for “dear environmentally friendly place”, many thanks to its abundance of parks – try out Glasgow Green, Kelvingrove or the Botanic Gardens.

H is for Horseshoe Bar

The city’s largest watering hole and just staggering length from the last train property at Central Station. An excellent location to “tak a drink” – mine’s a whisky and Irn Bru – but you won’t be brief of options. The Games may all be about swimming, biking and managing, but in the rest of the metropolis, the national sport of ingesting is a gold-medal winner.

I is for Independence

A topic best prevented by soppy Southerners. Glaswegians have been debating the subject for more than three hundred a long time, so your observation that you’d “really like Scotland to continue to be part of the United kingdom, yah, since it’ll be so a lot easier to go fishing around Mummy’s nation house, yah”, is unlikey to impress.

J is for Jokes

Wegies like a chuckle, ideally at the cost of an Englishman. But fashion your self on The Big Yin – Billy Connolly – not Frankie Boyle if the purpose is not to offend.

K is for The Krankies

The partner-and-wife comedy double act of Ian and “Wee Jimmy”, last observed in Dick McWhittington at the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre with John Barrowman in January.

L is for Lassies

A local term for girls. “Glesga wummin” are a breed aside, noted for their feistiness and not to be messed with. Sharleen Spiteri, Clare Grogan, Elaine C Smith – not just shrinking violets, are they?

M is for Mars Bar

…of the deep-fried variety. Not articles with the 225 energy previously packed into the chocolate bar, a chip store in Aberdeenshire located a novel way to up the artery-clogging houses of a Mars when it began promoting the delicacy in 1995. It has grow to be something of an urban fantasy, but some spots nevertheless fry them – and rumour has it there is a chippy on West Nile Avenue that can satisfy the urge.

N is for Nightlife

Glasgow’s geographical situation indicates it is still light until finally 10.30pm. If you believe you can match the locals for endurance, The Sub Club, a sweaty, cavernous nightspot underneath floor degree, has been a Glasgow establishment for twenty five several years.

O is for Opening Ceremony

The Games organisers are maintaining their answer to Danny Boyle’s London 2012 extravaganza under wraps, but Rod Stewart and Subo are on the monthly bill, while programs to coincide the focal position of the sporting championships with the destruction of the notorious Pink Highway tower block have been scrapped. Rumour of a Krankies comeback are mercifully unconfirmed, but there will be a cast of two,000 getting component in the Celtic Park efficiency.

P is for ‘Peely-wally’

The skin hue of choice for the Glaswegian, or “pale and sickly”. If you want to blend in, inventory up on pies and sit in a bath of cold milk for that just-witnessed-daylight search. If you want to scream “I’m from the South”, utilize St Tropez. Liberally.

Q is for Queue

It’s Scotland, not Senegal, so regular British customs implement. Get in line, Minor Lord Fauntleroy, or pucker up for a Glasgow Kiss (head-butt).

R is for Purple Faces

…which is what the bad Scottish athletes will be offsetting their peely-wally pins with when they parade at the opening ceremony in their flowery blouses and tartan shawl ensemble (see image, underneath). Even 1st Minister Alex Salmond could not put a positive spin on the laughable official outfits, admitting: “Scotland has a grand custom of looking absurd in struggle.”

S is for Supper

A Glaswegian term which means “served with chips”, not an early-evening food consumed in a Richard Curtis movie. Do not confuse the two. You have been warned.

T is for ‘Taps Aff’

Or: “I say, chaps, time to take away your higher-entire body clothes.” The clarion cry that reverberates about building websites across the metropolis on both days of the yr when the mercury nudges 20C. A sight – and web sites – greatest prevented.

U is for Ubiquitous Chip

…or “The Chip”, as the locals phone it. A fixture on the city’s culinary scene because 1971, and truly an upmarket West Conclude eatery, regardless of the identify. What is it with these men and women and chips?

V is for Vernacular

In Glasgow, the tiniest smattering of regional lingo will go a long way. In any other case you might locate your self scunnered (disgusted) when a nippy sweetie (irritable, sharp-tongued individual) asks if it is always dreich (boring, overcast and drizzly) exactly where you appear from.

W is for Wardrobe

Pack a cagoule and a brolly, some black opaque tights and typical spring or autumn outfits. The average July and August temperature is 19C. And let’s encounter it, what ever you set on you are going to appear elegant up coming to the Scottish team in their opening-ceremony uniforms.

X is for eXit

Get the Substantial Road to Loch Lomond and the Trossachs for amazing scenery, just forty five minutes away.

Y is for Yummy

The national dish of haggis may not be for the squeamish, but it is remarkably tasty. And when you’ve eaten a white-pudding supper (oatmeal-based mostly savoury pudding), you are going to never ever want to trouble with fish once again.

Z is for Zero

The chance you have of passing your self off as wegie if you are from wherever south of Kilmarnock.

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